Comments on: About http://anotherseasonoflife.com Encouragement, Resources and Support for the Surviving Spouse Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:57:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Charles Foster http://anotherseasonoflife.com?cpage=1#comment-26 Charles Foster Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:57:58 +0000 http://anotherseasonoflife.com/?page_id=106#comment-26 Libby, I am so sorry for your loss of Charlie. I know you are lonesome. I used to come home from work and turn on the TV and Stereo at the same time just to have some noise in the house hoping to sound would fill our little house which felt as big and lonely as if I was in the Houston Astrodome all alone. It is amazing how overwhelming those feeling can be to anyone suffering loss. One of the reasons I wrote the book is just because of the mountain of details no one ever told me that needed to be taken care of before, during and after my loss. A lot of things have been written about those who precede us but I wrote this book to help those who are left behind. I wanted to provide direction so they would not have to make the mistakes I made. Please keep in touch. God bless! Libby, I am so sorry for your loss of Charlie. I know you are lonesome. I used to come home from work and turn on the TV and Stereo at the same time just to have some noise in the house hoping to sound would fill our little house which felt as big and lonely as if I was in the Houston Astrodome all alone. It is amazing how overwhelming those feeling can be to anyone suffering loss. One of the reasons I wrote the book is just because of the mountain of details no one ever told me that needed to be taken care of before, during and after my loss. A lot of things have been written about those who precede us but I wrote this book to help those who are left behind. I wanted to provide direction so they would not have to make the mistakes I made. Please keep in touch. God bless!

]]> By: Charles Foster http://anotherseasonoflife.com?cpage=1#comment-25 Charles Foster Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:51:47 +0000 http://anotherseasonoflife.com/?page_id=106#comment-25 Dear Cat. I hear you and I thank you for writing. Apparently this message came in just about the same time I want into the hospital and I missed it. I am so sorry that I am just now getting back with you. Please forgive me. I must tell you I feel exactly the same way you do. After I lost Cindy I looked and looked for anything that could ease my pain and could not find anything that was comforting or encouraging. That is one of the reasons I decided to write the Surviving Spouse Club. One thing I must tell you is my life did not get back on track because I remarried. Losing my wife of 25 years left me feeling alone, lost, helpless, totally without direction, scared, in a daze, not knowing which way was up or down, depressed, and emotionally bankrupt. I continued to stay on my knees in prayer to my Heavenly Father who gave me the strength, comfort and emotional healing which I was looking. God could have said, get up and go about your business or instantly healed me from my pain. But he didn’t and I believe He allowed me to experience all of the above emotions to help me through my grieving process. You see, without going through this refining process of grieving there is no way I would have been ready to move ahead with life and/or eventually remarry. If I had gone out and found a “new love” first, I would have only added all of the above problems to my new loves relationship and then caused us both added pain and suffering. You see I feel it extremely necessary to complete the grieving process prior to beginning a new relationship. Anytime anyone tries to shortcut that process, your new relationship will lack the fullness, joy and peace that two whole people would experience. I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. No one should ever tell another that a new love will fix their problems or that remarrying is even in their future. In fact, if someone waits on God to provide, they will find that He will give them and lead them exactly where He wants them to be and that my be a single life. Everyone has a path to travel in this life. Everyone has decisions to make and everyone will have to abide by those choices. The problem with most people is they want to control their own destiny. It is like taking a trip without the guidance of a road map. You never know what is next. I encourage everyone to call on the only One who has been there before us and knows what is in the road ahead and which direction is best. If we will turn over control and ask God what His plan is for our lives, He will help us to get to our destination and also avoid the chug holes and bad roads. In this life we are going to experience hurt and pain but God will always be there to pick us up and help us continue. Our decision is do we continue in the direction He wants us to go or do we try to do it on our on without His guidance? I know this was a long answer but I wanted you to know that I am happy again now not because I met a new love but because I went to my knees before God who has always been my first love. Looking back over the past 13 years since I lost Cindy, I can tell you that I can seen God’s fingerprints all over the past 13 years. It is amazing! I do have a new love in my life but my new love would never be as complete with as much joy, peace, happiness and direction if I had not allow God to direct my path. My biggest mistakes are made when I allow my eyes to not focus on Him. Please let me hear how you are doing. God bless you! Dear Cat. I hear you and I thank you for writing. Apparently this message came in just about the same time I want into the hospital and I missed it. I am so sorry that I am just now getting back with you. Please forgive me. I must tell you I feel exactly the same way you do. After I lost Cindy I looked and looked for anything that could ease my pain and could not find anything that was comforting or encouraging. That is one of the reasons I decided to write the Surviving Spouse Club. One thing I must tell you is my life did not get back on track because I remarried. Losing my wife of 25 years left me feeling alone, lost, helpless, totally without direction, scared, in a daze, not knowing which way was up or down, depressed, and emotionally bankrupt. I continued to stay on my knees in prayer to my Heavenly Father who gave me the strength, comfort and emotional healing which I was looking. God could have said, get up and go about your business or instantly healed me from my pain. But he didn’t and I believe He allowed me to experience all of the above emotions to help me through my grieving process. You see, without going through this refining process of grieving there is no way I would have been ready to move ahead with life and/or eventually remarry. If I had gone out and found a “new love” first, I would have only added all of the above problems to my new loves relationship and then caused us both added pain and suffering. You see I feel it extremely necessary to complete the grieving process prior to beginning a new relationship. Anytime anyone tries to shortcut that process, your new relationship will lack the fullness, joy and peace that two whole people would experience. I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. No one should ever tell another that a new love will fix their problems or that remarrying is even in their future. In fact, if someone waits on God to provide, they will find that He will give them and lead them exactly where He wants them to be and that my be a single life. Everyone has a path to travel in this life. Everyone has decisions to make and everyone will have to abide by those choices. The problem with most people is they want to control their own destiny. It is like taking a trip without the guidance of a road map. You never know what is next. I encourage everyone to call on the only One who has been there before us and knows what is in the road ahead and which direction is best. If we will turn over control and ask God what His plan is for our lives, He will help us to get to our destination and also avoid the chug holes and bad roads. In this life we are going to experience hurt and pain but God will always be there to pick us up and help us continue. Our decision is do we continue in the direction He wants us to go or do we try to do it on our on without His guidance? I know this was a long answer but I wanted you to know that I am happy again now not because I met a new love but because I went to my knees before God who has always been my first love. Looking back over the past 13 years since I lost Cindy, I can tell you that I can seen God’s fingerprints all over the past 13 years. It is amazing! I do have a new love in my life but my new love would never be as complete with as much joy, peace, happiness and direction if I had not allow God to direct my path. My biggest mistakes are made when I allow my eyes to not focus on Him. Please let me hear how you are doing. God bless you!

]]> By: Libby Mickey http://anotherseasonoflife.com?cpage=1#comment-23 Libby Mickey Thu, 29 Jul 2010 03:00:37 +0000 http://anotherseasonoflife.com/?page_id=106#comment-23 Dear Charles, I lost my Charlie two months ago. I was not prepared even though we knew our time was going to be limited, for the barrage of "things" to take care of. Legal matters, even finding a tombstone for his grave is stressful. I feel as though I am buried myself. I am also very lonesome, not to mention grieving a great deal. I am so glad that you have taken this project that is so necessary and so useful for what most all of us will have to face at one time or another. Dear Charles,
I lost my Charlie two months ago. I was not prepared even though we knew our time was going to be limited, for the barrage of “things” to take care of. Legal matters, even finding a tombstone for his grave is stressful. I feel as though I am buried myself. I am also very lonesome, not to mention grieving a great deal. I am so glad that you have taken this project that is so necessary and so useful for what most all of us will have to face at one time or another.

]]> By: Cat http://anotherseasonoflife.com?cpage=1#comment-12 Cat Mon, 26 Apr 2010 03:47:31 +0000 http://anotherseasonoflife.com/?page_id=106#comment-12 I think it's easy to "survive" when you find someone new. I really get tired of seeing all the "grief recovery" books written by those who have lost and have found someone new. I wish I could find a good book written by someone who hasn't found a new "love" to ease their pain. Perhaps you can point me in that direction? I think it’s easy to “survive” when you find someone new. I really get tired of seeing all the “grief recovery” books written by those who have lost and have found someone new. I wish I could find a good book written by someone who hasn’t found a new “love” to ease their pain. Perhaps you can point me in that direction?

]]> By: Pam Foster http://anotherseasonoflife.com?cpage=1#comment-8 Pam Foster Wed, 24 Mar 2010 19:10:10 +0000 http://anotherseasonoflife.com/?page_id=106#comment-8 Dear All, I am extremely proud of my husband! Please tell your family and friends about the book and now you can order the Companion Workbook as well. Every household should have this! Dear All,
I am extremely proud of my husband! Please tell your family and friends about the book and now you can order the Companion Workbook as well. Every household should have this!

]]> By: Charles Foster http://anotherseasonoflife.com?cpage=1#comment-6 Charles Foster Fri, 19 Mar 2010 04:12:27 +0000 http://anotherseasonoflife.com/?page_id=106#comment-6 Dear Terry Ann, I just got your message and I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. You ask why do members of my own family not understand why I get depressed, feel lonely, and some days seem darker than others. Why do the days linger? Why was my sweetheart taken from me? Why did God allow this to happen? Why can't I move on with my life and climb out of this slump I am in? Why, Why, Why? Do the questions never stop? If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Everyone who has experienced a loss in their life goes through thoughts like these and hundreds more every day with seemingly no answers. When I lost my wife of over 25 years, I asked all of the same questions you are asking and I could not find any answer either and that is why I wrote the book. Cindy has been gone 13 years and I still have days with questions, but the difference for me is, now that I have found some of the answers and I know how to deal with stress, grief, loneliness, pain of loss, etc., I am a survivor. After you learn the steps to survival and the way to handle daily situations, you will find yourself becoming stronger and stronger. You say your family does not understand why you cry all of the time. Think about that for a moment. After experiencing what you have gone through, can you image anyone being able to understand without traveling through the same valley experience? Sometimes people say they understand but unless they have lived it, they really don’t understand the pain of losing a spouse. You say you try to venture out but feel the tug to go home to a place of comfort as if he were there. Terry Ann, he will always have a special place in your heart. No matter how much time goes by you will always remember but it is possible to move on with your life, survive and learn to feel the joy you once knew. The feelings you are experiencing are normal. Nothing is wrong with you. I need to encourage you to not hold or suppress your feeling but allow them to remain on the surface where you can deal with them. Grieving is a complicated issue because everyone who has experienced a loss is in a difference place at different times. If your depression becomes uncontrollable, seek out professional help at once. If you feel like you need to understand where you are and how to deal with it, this book may help. Do not give up or be discouraged. Remember, if you loved deeply, you will hurt deeply when that love is lost. Grieving is so important! I try to encourage people to try to get to a point where they can celebrate the one they have lost. I know that sounds strange but I will always treasure the mother of my children and our 25 years of marriage but in order for me to move on; I needed to celebrate her life. I wrote about that because I felt it so important. I noticed in your closing comment of your message that you are turning to God for answers and I want to tell you that is the perfect place to turn. In the book, that same message rings out from cover to cover. When people read it they will walk away knowing that I could not have survived without a loving and merciful God to hold my hand and provide what I needed, when I needed it. Terry Ann, I again want to express my sorrow for your loss but encourage you to continue to reach out and seek the help you need. You can survive! You are worth it! Make everyday a new day as you take one baby step at a time on your journey to survive. God bless. Charles. Dear Terry Ann,
I just got your message and I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. You ask why do members of my own family not understand why I get depressed, feel lonely, and some days seem darker than others. Why do the days linger? Why was my sweetheart taken from me? Why did God allow this to happen? Why can’t I move on with my life and climb out of this slump I am in? Why, Why, Why? Do the questions never stop?

If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Everyone who has experienced a loss in their life goes through thoughts like these and hundreds more every day with seemingly no answers. When I lost my wife of over 25 years, I asked all of the same questions you are asking and I could not find any answer either and that is why I wrote the book. Cindy has been gone 13 years and I still have days with questions, but the difference for me is, now that I have found some of the answers and I know how to deal with stress, grief, loneliness, pain of loss, etc., I am a survivor. After you learn the steps to survival and the way to handle daily situations, you will find yourself becoming stronger and stronger.

You say your family does not understand why you cry all of the time. Think about that for a moment. After experiencing what you have gone through, can you image anyone being able to understand without traveling through the same valley experience? Sometimes people say they understand but unless they have lived it, they really don’t understand the pain of losing a spouse.
You say you try to venture out but feel the tug to go home to a place of comfort as if he were there. Terry Ann, he will always have a special place in your heart. No matter how much time goes by you will always remember but it is possible to move on with your life, survive and learn to feel the joy you once knew. The feelings you are experiencing are normal. Nothing is wrong with you. I need to encourage you to not hold or suppress your feeling but allow them to remain on the surface where you can deal with them. Grieving is a complicated issue because everyone who has experienced a loss is in a difference place at different times. If your depression becomes uncontrollable, seek out professional help at once. If you feel like you need to understand where you are and how to deal with it, this book may help. Do not give up or be discouraged. Remember, if you loved deeply, you will hurt deeply when that love is lost.

Grieving is so important! I try to encourage people to try to get to a point where they can celebrate the one they have lost. I know that sounds strange but I will always treasure the mother of my children and our 25 years of marriage but in order for me to move on; I needed to celebrate her life. I wrote about that because I felt it so important.

I noticed in your closing comment of your message that you are turning to God for answers and I want to tell you that is the perfect place to turn. In the book, that same message rings out from cover to cover. When people read it they will walk away knowing that I could not have survived without a loving and merciful God to hold my hand and provide what I needed, when I needed it.

Terry Ann, I again want to express my sorrow for your loss but encourage you to continue to reach out and seek the help you need. You can survive! You are worth it! Make everyday a new day as you take one baby step at a time on your journey to survive.
God bless.
Charles.

]]> By: Charles Foster http://anotherseasonoflife.com?cpage=1#comment-4 Charles Foster Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:53:09 +0000 http://anotherseasonoflife.com/?page_id=106#comment-4 This book is for men and women alike. It was originally conceived as a tool to help men through the grieving process, but more and more women are finding it has the answers they have been looking for. Most families today prepare for the loss of the husband, but few are prepared when the wife dies first. This book helps both men and women prepare for that loss which everyone will experience one day. It will help them to cope with the aftermath with action steps. This book is filled with encouraging words to help you along you journey with practical steps needed to heal from one of life’s worst nightmares. The author uses his own story to explain how he handled his tragedy and then gives you step by step explanations how to handle your situation. When someone tells you your spouse has died, your world changes in an instant. What do you do now? How do you survive? What happens to your children? How do I handle the funeral? I wonder if my spouse would have agreed with my choices? The book answers these questions and hundreds more helping you to avoid mistakes that might be made that could be hard to correct. The author wants you to avoid his mistakes and wants you to survive and learn to live again. The one message of encouragement throughout the book is you are going to survive! If you are not going through this personally, give one to someone that has lost a spouse or use the information as a trusted friend to help someone you know survive. Practical answers fill you with encouragement and hope and help you survive the loss of your spouse. This book is for men and women alike. It was originally conceived as a tool to help men through the grieving process, but more and more women are finding it has the answers they have been looking for. Most families today prepare for the loss of the husband, but few are prepared when the wife dies first. This book helps both men and women prepare for that loss which everyone will experience one day. It will help them to cope with the aftermath with action steps. This book is filled with encouraging words to help you along you journey with practical steps needed to heal from one of life’s worst nightmares. The author uses his own story to explain how he handled his tragedy and then gives you step by step explanations how to handle your situation. When someone tells you your spouse has died, your world changes in an instant. What do you do now? How do you survive? What happens to your children? How do I handle the funeral? I wonder if my spouse would have agreed with my choices? The book answers these questions and hundreds more helping you to avoid mistakes that might be made that could be hard to correct. The author wants you to avoid his mistakes and wants you to survive and learn to live again. The one message of encouragement throughout the book is you are going to survive! If you are not going through this personally, give one to someone that has lost a spouse or use the information as a trusted friend to help someone you know survive. Practical answers fill you with encouragement and hope and help you survive the loss of your spouse.

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