About
Welcome to the Surviving Spouse Club
Surviving Spouse Club was born out of a need for me to get help after the loss of my wife. Not finding anything written especially for men, I set out to record the decisions I was required to make and try to help others not make the same mistakes I made. Nothing can prepare you emotionally for the loss of your spouse no matter which one of you dies first, but the information in my book and the suggestions on this blog will help you to prepare for loss with information and encouragement designed to make your journey a little easier.
I know there are many people who think about death and cringe not wanting to go there in their minds. Many people believe if they avoid thinking about death that it will just go away. No matter how hard you believe it will not happen to you, the fact remains that the death rate in the world today is 100% and everyone will face death sometime in their future. Hopefully it will be later than sooner but as you will discover, the more information you have in advance, the easier that transition will become.
Everyone will lose their spouse one day. History has told us that usually women live longer than men but there is a growing fact in our society today that statistically tells us that men are becoming the survivor more often than at any time in our history. Do not get caught like I did not knowing every detail of your spouse’s daily life so you will be able to carry on when that day comes. For instance, men have always provided life insurance so that the family would be taken care of when they die. A sad fact is with more and more women dying first, men are unprepared to continue life their wife dies first. Many other examples are talked about in the book.
I truly enjoyed reading this book since I could relate. Having lost my husband 16 years ago, I can still benefit from the encouraging reminders. Brad and I were married for 7 years and had one daughter, Brianna Grace Busby. Although I am remarried to a wonderful Christian man, Tim Malone, I continue to have a special place in my heart for Brad, his family, and the amazing adventures we share. I am thankful to you for the Scripture references and practical advise. Two helpful items that I have to share:
1. Make time to get professional Christian counseling. I met weekly with someone referred to me that lived in a nearby city. That way, nobody had to know about it, and he had no preconceived ideas about me or the family. He suggested I keep a journal to write Brad for five minutes a day as if I were talking to him. I did this until I was ready to say goodbye, to meet someone else and to start over in a sense.
2. Even though you feel sick to your stomach with grief, remind yourself that “this too shall pass” and the Lord will use you to help others in his perfect time and way.
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